Longing for a Sense of Belonging 

By Jacob Thomas

Writing 111: Writing Seminar

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Dear _____, current Wake Forest Student,

Aghast, I stared at the photo of the current Wake Forest Dean of Admissions, Martha Allman, who was standing next to the confederate flag taken in 1982. Smiling, she was accompanied by the Kappa Alpha Order, KA, fraternity brothers who surrounded her. I was struck with fear, confusion, and disappointment. My mind raced as I thought about what it could mean. When she was a student had she discriminated against her peers on account of their race? Why was she standing with KA? What does it mean that she married someone in the photo? Desperate for answers, I turned to the internet to find out as much as I could about the fraternity practices and the old Southern traditions they supported. I was overwhelmed. Before the picture of Dean Allman surfaced, I had interviewed and spoken with her regarding my scholarship multiple times within the past year. Just weeks before the picture surfaced, I had lunch with her to discuss the campus climate. I had a very high opinion of her. Despite how much time has passed since the photo was taken and “who she is” now, if there is no personal and public admittance of fault or guilt, then Wake Forest is shown to not penalize attacks on identity in the forms of racism or discrimination.

In a moment of frustration and remorse, I had felt like my place here at Wake Forest had been invalidated. Do I belong here, or will Wake Forest always carry its history and divided legacy? How am I supposed to like a school that doesn’t penalize attacks against people with my color of skin? How am I supposed to learn in an environment that doesn’t feel safe because people who share my color of skin don’t have a place to think clearly and unimpeded? A headache soon formed, worsening with each question. I got so stressed I could not think clearly and could barely manage to complete my homework. I kept thinking about all of the interactions I had with Dean Allman and other instances where Wake Forest had proven to skimp on space for minority students on campus when social fraternity lettering for predominantly and historically white fraternities and sororities mark every building. I got so frustrated and had no true outlet to express my frustration. In those stress-filled moments, I needed a support system with a shared lived experience to field and share my concern. I needed a space where I could talk to other minority students about how the pictures had affected them and the implications of Wake Forest’s other discriminatory practices. Like most other complex issues regarding space that affect more than just an individual, this incident should have been processed by the affected community in a group setting or identity space to bolster group solidarity.

Stereotypes and stigmatization rooted in the fundamental structure of American society force minorities to navigate spaces that constantly challenge and invalidate their experiences. Identity spaces—facilitated meeting groups and the associated physical spaces—for minorities attempt to counterbalance this difference in experience by uniting people with a shared lived experience. These spaces for minorities also serve as affirmation through representation and mentorship from others. Consequently, these environments are particularly important for younger minorities as they develop and grow—even more so the minorities attending predominantly white institutions. The necessity of identity spaces rouses controversy with the suggestion these spaces are a means of self-segregation. Although some deem identity spaces an incentive to self-segregate, identity spaces work to dismantle contemporary discrimination, are integral to the development of minority community solidarity, and help to encourage a sense of belonging in minority students.

My experience at Wake Forest thus far has largely been dictated by feeling uncomfortable in spaces where I am the only black person. In an interview, another black first-year Wake Forest student named Taylor Wiggins, expressed a similar sentiment saying, “When I first got here and I went to the LGBT center it was super ‘intimidating’ because [I knew] only white people would be in there… It just didn’t seem inclusive and I just never went back because I was the only black face. I didn’t have anyone to really relate to.” Here Wiggins expresses a reality that most minorities face with regard to navigating largely white spaces. She highlights the desire to relate and feel a sense of belonging. She also mentions how attending Queer Trans People of Color (QTPOC) programming—an identity space for queer trans people of color—helped her cultivate sense of belonging. She was able to engage in a space that made it easier for her to relate to her peers (Wiggins). In my own experience as a person of color, feeling uncomfortable in a space where I am the only black person largely stems from my desire to avoid discrimination.

In addition to traditional, overt, racism, a new form of discrimination that asserts superiority on the basis of social and physical landscapes has emerged in modern-day society and has increased the need for identity spaces. As described by Margaret Zamudio and Francisco Rios—sociology scholars at the University of Wyoming—in their paper on colorblind racism, the nascent but common form of racism dubbed “color-blind racism” attempts to minimize the struggle of minorities while maintaining the white privilege status quo (Zamudio and Rios 483). The authors describe traditional racism as the more overt display or direct expression of discriminatory practice, while characterizing colorblind racism as the less visible microaggressions in interpersonal or institutional interactions. Despite their differences, it is important to acknowledge that both have an effect on a minority’s sense of belonging. In their paper, Zamudio and Rios use a study to evaluate the racist events that occur on a university campus to analyze if these events align with the concept of colorblind racism and its difficult detection. In addition to colorblind racism, the study also found that an unexpectedly large number of the racist encounters that occur today on college campuses are typified as traditional racism. Both of these forms of racism have important implications that disproportionately affect minorities and challenges their experience. To combat this, identity spaces give minorities a space that insulates them from discrimination against their identity.

Most public spaces have racial connotations that reinforce white privilege; therefore, identity spaces do not have self-segregating effects, but rather attempt to boost minority senses of inclusion. Social theorist and Philosophy Professor at the University of Essex, Robert E. Goodin, defines the ideology of minority inclusion as a combination of separate factors that range from political to social inclusion. After deconstructing full inclusion as the make-up of different ramified factors, Goodin then suggests the rhetoric surrounding the word ‘inclusion’ demarcates an inherent difference. Goodin further argues there is a need to retain elements of one’s culture. Goodin states, “Far from moving us beyond marginality—far from helping to take ‘the excluded’ to the center of social life—political appeals couched in terms of ‘inclusion of the excluded’ only succeed in pushing them over the line” (360). In this quotation he suggests the narratives centralized solely around inclusion and exclusion are inadequate. He expresses recognizing marginality requires for marginal identities to have a group and space of their own.

When spaces and institutions have long been dominated by white people, they are exposed to heightened privilege and opportunity. As such, white people traditionally hold positions of power or control over spaces and dictate how minorities conduct themselves in space, furthering the application of colorblind racism. Wake Forest is no exception to the legacy of racism and discriminatory practice. The pictures of Dean Allman standing in front of a confederate flag surfaced on the internet and after a brief email acknowledgement she is still on track for a promotion in July (Wake Forest). This finding created a hostile relationship between the administration and students on campus, yet minority students had no real outlet to process this as a group. Although necessary to gauge the needs of the larger Wake Forest community, the forum provided did not truly address the needs of black students on campus to incite further action. Identity spaces have the important ability to unite minority groups for the purpose of community solidarity. With insufficient identity spaces for minority students on campus, the minorities on campus were left to process the photo release incident and create responses individually.

Benefiting from the legacies of institutions that were constructed before and during segregation, white people—who also benefit from being the majority—naturally assemble in informal identity spaces and therefore do not need designated identity spaces. Many university fraternities and sororities exemplify the trend of white social assembly as they operate with total contemporary racial segregation practices. As of 2001, forty-five years after the institution’s integration, no black student had ever joined one of the thirty-three historically white fraternities or sororities at the University of Alabama—which had approximately 15,000 students at the time (“The University of Alabama”). Today, this trend is consistent at many universities—even those considered to be traditionally progressive—such as Princeton where 77% of sorority members and 73% of fraternity members remain white even though white people only make up 47% of the undergraduate student population (Chang, sec. 2). Wake Forest has not made the statistics of fraternity and sorority demographics public. What statement do you think this makes about our social scene? Thus, in a sense fraternities and sororities were historically created for white people and continue to provide increased access to spaces for the majority to assemble.

What may seem like unassuming X’s drawn in sharpie on my classmates’ hands (marking the attendance of a fraternity party) to you have become a reminder to me that I have no space allocated by the university to convene with my black friends on the weekends. Oftentimes, I look at pictures and videos my classmates have posted from their Greek-life related events, and it seems as though we go to completely different schools. Their lives and experiences are so far from my own. At Wake Forest, I have not experienced a community or space that allows me to both have fun and feel fully comfortable with people who look like I do. How am I supposed to feel like I belong at Wake Forest when there is no space here that affirms my existence?

Identity spaces can validate experiences that may be difficult for people of a different lived experience to affirm. Across people of various races and faiths, there is a difference in cultural understanding and sensitivity regarding norms and intra-community issues. Muslim-identifying students at universities in Northern California face discrimination as a result of how others perceive Islam. One of these students, Rashid, recounted an instance where a professor presented a derogatory representation of Islam in the classroom. Rashid was further discriminated against when he was called a “black nationalist” by his basketball coach. In this same article the author states, “He [Rashid] was explicitly told that he could not be both a black male athlete and a serious student activist on campus, but he had to choose between the two” (Nasir and Al-Amin 26). Rashid was constantly having to educate about and defend his identity on account of his race and faith in public spaces. The opposition Rashid endured as a result of his Muslim identity encouraged him to leave his university for years before eventually completing his degree (Nasir and Al-Amin 24). This experience of islamophobia ultimately affected Rashid’s life trajectory and is seen on a larger scale in the experience of many other diverse college students. This reality jibes with the necessity of a space to process discrimination and feel comfortable in the aspects of your identity that face ridicule. Rashid did not have a space physical or constructed—a meeting group—where he could comfortably process the intersections of his identity as black and Muslim-identifying with due reception and sensitivity. He felt as though he was forced to choose between associating more closely with his race or faith on campus (Nasir and Al-Amin 26). For me, constantly balancing the intersectionality of my identities at Wake Forest has been a similar dance. I am constantly seeking the networking opportunities, student groups, and clubs that are welcoming, cautious to avoid the ones that are exclusionary and discriminatory. This added burden of needing to create space for myself to feel comfortable sometimes takes precedence over my dedicated role as a college student.

Scholars have studied the modes of establishing pluralistic societies that maintain cultural belonging and also construct a larger community that precipitates large-scale inclusion by creating identity spaces. A multicultural education theorist named James Banks declared, “One of the challenges to pluralistic societies is to provide opportunities for cultural and ethnic groups to maintain components of their community cultures while at the same time constructing a nation-state in which diverse groups are structurally included and to which they feel allegiance” (qtd. in Nasir and Al-Amin 27). This is the intended and achieved purpose of identity spaces. Identity spaces are not to self-segregate, but rather to engender a sense of belonging and aid in navigating largely white-dominated spaces. Rashid is not alone in the discrimination that he faces as a result of his race and faith on college campuses and in larger society as a whole; however, an identity space would allow for proper healing and provide this sense of belonging. Universities need to provide these spaces to validate and acknowledge diversity appropriately.

For the multitudinous benefits, identity spaces are beneficial to minorities and can cultivate a sense of belonging. Identity spaces are created to approach holistic wellness rather than to facilitate emulated empathy. At the end of the day, I just want to feel like I belong here, and that can be so difficult when my identity is challenged frequently by the institution. Current Wake Forest student, there is much work to be done to establish these identity spaces for students at Wake Forest. We can create a Wake Forest that doesn’t give students with marginalized identities any reason to question whether or not they belong here. Wake Forest will be worthy of praise when you and I attend the same Wake Forest. Wake Forest will be adequate when it gives students equitable space and opportunities to process, feel comfortable, and heal as necessary.

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A Word from Jacob

I sat off-balance in my chair, squirming uncomfortably as I heard one of my peers basically state that racism was not real in a panel discussion about diversity in the Wake Forest community. The microphone I was holding to make the next statement turned into a dumbbell, heavier with each discount of my lived experience. When he finished, I no longer wanted to speak because I knew my voice would be shaky and my points unclear, but I still attempted. I started to speak and the friend sitting to my left saw my discomfort and watched me fumble over my words very briefly before gesturing for the microphone to coax it from my grasp. I left the panel rattled to my core and headed to the library to finish my homework for the night.

I bounced from assignment to assignment trying to find one that I could tackle while so bothered. I landed on my Writing 111 assignment and reviewed the prompt for the essay. The prompt urged me to offer an argument in the form of a letter to someone who disagreed with my point of view on a current issue. Unable to think of anything else, I initially began writing to the school board about the lack of spaces for black students on campus. A couple days later, a campus lounge was dedicated the Black Student Alliance and I worried the paper I had intended to write to the board would sound misinformed and outdated. Still fresh in my mind were the words of my peer who discounted the discussion of racism as “outrage culture.” So I began writing and tweaking what I had already written with him as my new audience to argue the importance of identity spaces. I felt like I was walking a tight rope trying to convince him racism was real by diluting some of my ideas to make them more agreeable. I met with my professor, Dr. Elisabeth Whitehead, and workshopped my paper to discuss how to walk the line most effectively and truly cater to an audience with a completely different perspective.

As I wrote, I struggled to seamlessly incorporate the pieces of evidence—they seemed bulky and out of place when I read the essay back to myself. To work through this, I honed in on the narrative element and extended the sections with my own voice and experience. When I read my first draft through I felt the piece lacked a sense of flow, so I went to the Writing Center to seek some guidance. There, I sat down with another student who helped me make a reverse outline to guide as I minced and restructured the paper. When I read it through again the paper was nearly unrecognizable, but it flowed more smoothly. I repeated this process until the paper’s progression of ideas seemed natural. Ultimately, with this assignment I was able to better understand freewriting through the process of thoughtful revision and attempting to persuade an audience.

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From Professor Elisabeth Whitehead